so i seem to only talk about guys on here but they really confuse me. 

I use to speak to this one guy loads over text and facebook, then suddenly it all just stopped! So i thought well he obviously isn’t that interested so I wasn’t to fussed. then when i came back off my easter break he just said randomly “hey long time no speak” and now we pretty much talk everyday again. 

My friends today told me to ask him to meet me and i thought well he is not going to, he will just say no. but after a beat around the bush we went on a little walk. I was dead nervous at first wondering what on earth we were gonna talk bout but it was a really nice walk. though realised we are two very very different people.

Now is this a bad thing or not?

but i wish i was breaking everyone’s hearts, but instead i am just repeatedly breaking my own heart 

the first time ever coming here and feeling so lonely, even though as soon as i came home my friend whisked me away and took me dancing. miss my family for sure (never thought i would be saying that).

no big change though, too scared 

too scared to change anything really 

i know it was only a picture but still it was so unreal, i haven’t seen him in months. well only in my dreams (i know a bit stupid right, but i can’t control my unconscious). This brings back way to many happy memories which i know deep down, won’t ever ever happen again. nothing can explain how i am feeling right now.  

just why?? 

i have been home for 4 days now, spent so much time with my family it has been lovely. been texting a certain someone all the time. and even sent a happy easter to someone else can’t believe that didn’t initiate a really long convo maybe my obsession is over. need to see some friends though now i am home. o and do that essay which is just way too hard.

feeling ok 

and texting him about everything but thinking why on earth he wanted to play this game with me and what does i am not sure what kind of like mean?? i am so puzzled 

wish he would text me though